Why am I holding myself back? What am I afraid of? Maybe it’s my fear of rejection or failing. I know I can’t have fear and faith at the same time. I desire a strong relationship with the one who has never left me even in my darkest hour. The one who knew me before all these fears existed. I feel in my heart and soul that there is a bigger destiny for me. I must get out of my way. The guidance is there; I just need to open my heart to see it.
My Journal Entry- January 6, 2019
Some people will reject you and it has nothing to do with you personally. An experience may have scarred them, and they haven't taken the time to properly heal. Half the time, they have no clue how to or anyone patient enough to see them through the process. So now we are left with someone that has resentment, grudges, brokenness, fear, and loads of disappointment in their heart and mind. In the mist of their storm and during the aftermath, they cannot see their blessings clearly because its cloudy and debris is everywhere. This is exactly how the body's immune system reacts to transplants. The body's rejection is a normal reaction to new things (foreign objects) entering the body. The rejection happens when the immune system creates a defense to fight off this new thing with the intent to protect the body. Unknowingly, trying to destroy something that was put in place to benefit it and help it heal.
I can recall being in a situation that seemed to line up perfectly but there were subtle signs that kept appearing. Of course, I overlooked these things because I wanted to remain positive and be optimistic. Overtime these little signs started to have a negative effect on my emotions making me feel rejected and vulnerable. I had to step back to reevaluate the whole situation. I realized if I accepted just anything, that’s all I would receive. I had been through enough to know that this wasn’t worth anymore my energy. I really had to search deep within myself for what lesson this was trying to teach me. People and things that are meant to be seasonal can make you feel like they’re for a lifetime.
The effect of rejection depends a lot on the value you place on yourself. Maybe you thought being with someone, or in a certain place was where you wanted to be but that doesn’t mean that’s where you needed to be. Do not let rejection cause resentment. Maybe rejection is telling you to be more authentic or to work harder. What if it is testing your true character and toughen your skin before you face a major storm. Rejection is a blessing in disguise. You need to feel those emotions and build on that feeling. The more you think negatively about the rejection, the more it hurts but when you shift the energy, you still feel the hurt but now it’s motivation to switch gears and focus on you. After a while you will become unstoppable because you remember how that pain felt but you never want to feel it that deeply again. Rejection doesn’t define you; it crafts you. Gratitude is due for that masterpiece.
Blessings,
K.P.
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